True to YOU

Elle wants everyone to know:

"Follow your bliss, fill your cup, ENJOY WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.

DON'T ARGUE.

Just LOVE you.

It's so easy, just ask ME! YOU are so EASY TO LOVE!"

Follow your bliss. Fill your cup. Enjoy who you are. Enjoy what you are. JUST LOVE YOU. It doesn't sound hard, now does it??? Since deciding to change over my life, I've been working on all those those messages and it's totally working. It hasn't been very easy but it's definitely helping me be a better person-the person I want to be.

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I haven't spoken with my mother in one week. I miss her terribly bad and think about her constantly. My heart kind of aches because I'm not speaking with her but it's the fact that I doubt she's thinking of me as much that hurts...not the distance. While I don't plan on never talking to her again, I do plan on not allowing her to pull me down anymore. We are traveling down different paths and I love myself enough to accept that. I'm meant to be a mother, wife, artist, and birthing-obsessed women; she is not. Maybe someday we'll be able to travel down the paths together in peace and love. Maybe not. Either way, I'm trusting the process.

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Same goes for my father. I love him with all my heart and always will. I will forever be thankful for the help and love he has given me. However, I love myself more. I have learned that we are two very different people and try as I might, I will never convince him I'm doing okay. I'm not the wealthy Republican daughter with a career. I'm the non-wealthy, non-political hippie-mom daughter with art infested life. I am not allowing his words to hurt me anymore. I'm not allowing him to bring me down. When he tells me I'm fat, I know I'm not. When he says I'm dumb for an idea, I know I'm not. When he tells me I'm wasting my time, I know I'm not. I'm making my life what I want it to be.

I am ME.

And I'm winning this game and I'm my own sort of successful. Sorry Mom, sorry Dad, that I'm not the daughter you asked for.

No, wait, I'm NOT sorry. I'm not sorry for following my bliss, filling my cup, enjoying who I am, enjoying what I am and just loving me.

...This is your loss.

Blessing??

1. My daughter telling me how much she loves me.

Maddy: *With arms thrown around my neck from the recliner behind me* "I love you MOM!"

Me: *With arms reaching behind to hug this adorable little creature I made* "I love you MADDY!"

Maddy: *From under her breathe and resumed position in her chair* "I love you MORE"

She is just so damn precious.

2. For my chiropractor.

Thanks, Mr. Dorn for the wonderful relief of the throbbing pain in my neck. Lets work on my upper back tomorrow, k??

3. For needlefelting.

4. For my wonderful Mom-in-law who truely understands and accepts me.

She is so helpful, so understanding, so respectful, so accepting. She loves and accepts me for ME.

5. For the massage I'm going to get when Dan gets home.

And Madelyn, "I love YOU MORE"