There is something very, very soothing about needlefelting. I haven't figured out if it's because it's a sculptural (is that even a word???) art....an art that I completely crave but am worthless at?? Or is it because it is very natural and waldorf-y? Is it because I can make precious little moms nursing and wearing their children?? Is it the cuteness of it all? The softness? Is it the repetitive jabbing into something that is calming? What about the pretty colors? The intense concentration I am able to give it. Is it all of that in a too-adorable-for-words fur sculpture?? That must be it!
I would really like to finish a precious collection of foods, dolls and a few treasures for my beautiful daughter by Christmas. I think there is no better gift than one made with love, and what's better than a mother's love?? Speaking of love, and making things with love, I would really like to see an Etsy store open up in my future to sell the before-mentioned needlefelted creations. I want to share them with people and spread the...love.
"Sell your ideas - they are totally acceptable."
...Apparently and iGoogle "Fortune Cookie" agrees! (Sweet!)
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I'm continuing to think about the situations I'm in with my parents...namely my mother. We haven't spoken since I hung up on her that day....Thursday or Friday maybe? That's a long time for us.
I'm just at a loss. I'm so tired of living my life the way she would want me to. I'm so tired of trying to make her happy when she must not be happy with herself. I want to live my life for me! I want to do what I want to make me happy. I only live once.
I want to be the mother of many children.
I want to be a wife.
I want to be an artist and photographer.
I want to craft, create and teach.
I want to learn.
I want to speak my mind, and be heard.
I want to nurture, and love.
I want to do these things for me. For my happiness. This is my bliss...and I'm going to follow it because, remember,
I'M WINNING AT THIS GAME OF LIFE.
I researched a bit more about becoming a doula. It is solidifying my goals in my head and I am able to sort through what sorts of "services" I think I might enjoy offering. Massage and postpartum care are definites!
I think I'd like to have one more baby before I make the leap and begin my studies. I feel there are no better ways to learn something, than to do it yourself. Not to mention, I don't want to feel the guilt and tension between my relationship with Baby and being a doula. I know I will make a great doula, whether I start tomorrow or in a few years. I'm really looking forward to that as well!!!
Hmmm....I think that's just about it for the day. I have a big day tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.
With Love,
Emily
I think I'd like to have one more baby before I make the leap and begin my studies. I feel there are no better ways to learn something, than to do it yourself. Not to mention, I don't want to feel the guilt and tension between my relationship with Baby and being a doula. I know I will make a great doula, whether I start tomorrow or in a few years. I'm really looking forward to that as well!!!
Hmmm....I think that's just about it for the day. I have a big day tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.
With Love,
Emily
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